Villain V: Flash Fiction

I think people outside the building can hear it. Actually, I think the people in the valley all wake up with a start, wondering if someone is suffering the death penalty right at that moment. The sound of a thousand hurricanes, literally.

Okay, I do not actually know first hand what that would sound like, but according to my imagination, that is the closest I can come to describing this monstrosity of a sound. I dread more than anything when the moment comes to stand up and walk over to that small dark corner where it is hidden, safe from a wondering eye.

Unwinding the snaky, long, fraying black chord with trembling hands. Plugging it in awakens the butterflies in my gut that were sleeping peacefully, sending them into a panic. Eyeing that red button, the thought alone of pressing it makes me feel like an innocent civilian being forced at to blow something up. Timidly, I push the glaring red button down.

Instantly, I feel my stomach lurch and hairs on the back of my neck stand up as that sound, that horrible sound, vibrates through every cell in the whole state of Utah. Tormenting myself with this meticulous routine, I push it back and forth in scrambled rows, watching it lamely attempt to suck up the waste on the floor. After thirty anguishing, inching seconds, my hand darts down and hits the off switch.

I can hear the hallelujah chorus, feeling like I had just cut the wires, stopping that deadly bomb from exploding. Quickly, I unplug it and wrap the chord hastily around it, hopefully strangling it to death. Ruthlessly, I shove it in the dusty shadowed corner, once again out of site. Victorious. Until next week, Villain Vacuum, when we shall meet again.

Written By JR Lindsey

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